There are some things you might find difficult to share in therapy.
Perhaps they seem too embarrassing, dark or intimate.
This is why it’s really important for me to say; there are no taboos in therapy.
It is rare in that it is a place where you won’t be censored; it is a place where you can discuss money, fantasies, loneliness, sex, your body and your strangest thoughts.
This also means you don’t have to be politically correct.
There may well be things that feel unspeakable, but that you’d really like someone to hear. It won’t be as easy as me saying: “you can speak about that here freely” but little by little, carefully, we can explore why you might find it difficult to discuss it.
There are also some things that may not occur to you to share. I share some examples below. This is not to say you should say them, but that if you can find a way to bring them into our sessions it will be useful for our work together.
Here are some examples:
1. If you disagree with something I’ve said or I’ve got something wrong.
2. When you start to have any fantasies about me (therapist) such as being like a parent, best friend or a girlfriend. (This is surprisingly common and it is to be expected believe it or not!)
3. If you’re not sure whether therapy is working. Or you have any doubts or concerns; including thinking about ending therapy.
It is of course also my job to facilitate these kinds of conversations, and it something I will bring up from time to time.
In general, the more honest you’re able to be the more beneficial therapy will be. If you don’t feel able to be honest or to share fully, which will of course happen at times, then even letting me know that gives us a good starting point.
There may be times that I ask you about your thoughts and feelings towards me. This isn’t so much as to solicit feedback on myself but to gain more feedback on you. This gives me a huge amount of insight into what is happening inside you. It tells me about your past relationships and how you relate to others. Among many things, this helps us to understand together how you might project on to others and then relate to them from this projection. This can help us explore any relationship challenges.
Lastly, it is always okay to ask any questions you have at any point.