It’s so important to explore your feelings.
I write about this often because the way I see people changing is through ‘feeling work’.
I’ve not seen it work many other ways.
I know that if you hold down a demanding job and/or life you think that going into your feelings is dangerous territory.
You’re scared you’re going to get stuck there, and wind up in bed for a week.
I know you feel like there’s not enough time for feelings.
But whether you give them time or not, they are still happening.
They’re just where you can’t see them.
It’s like the kids being in the other room writing on your walls with permanent marker pen.
We both know that it doesn’t make it any better just because you can’t see it right now.
Even if they’re not in your line of vision, feelings exist.
We end up burnt out, numbing out, and eventually, not knowing what the hell is going on inside of us when we push our feelings away.
This is when we end up in bed for a week.
I get it. This work is a massive ask.
When we’re bang in the middle of those feelings it is messy, unfinished, confusing, and uncomfortable. There’s no way of dressing it up any differently.
But it’s real. And we need ‘real’. It’s the only antidote.
‘Real’ isn’t meant to be comfortable.
Of course, we will have mixed feelings about ‘real’.
The great thing about it is that at least we know where we are, and we can then use a map to find our way back to firmer ground.
When we we’re lost, and they are no recognisable landmarks, a map isn’t going to cut it.
We can’t be successful in a sustainable way, unless we know what’s going on inside.
Something I use daily, and I really recommend for people who find themselves running away from their feelings, but ‘know’ it would be useful to be more aware of them is a Body Check in.
It’s simple, but so effective.
Find a few minutes during the day where you can be undisturbed.
Take a moment to focus your attention on your body.
Feel your body sink into the chair.
Focus on all the different sensations in your body (tingles, aches and pains).
Notice how you are breathing, and spend a few minutes just being aware of it.
Is it deep or shallow? How does it feel in your body?
Then I want you to focus on any feelings you can locate in your body (often in your stomach, heart or chest)
Really feel into that feeling.
Don’t do anything with it.
Don’t try and change it.
Keep breathing into it, and as you do this, go deeper and deeper in it.
Listen to what may be going on.
Keep an open space for that feeling.
Don’t try and resolve it.
For now, just be aware of it throughout the day.