Sometimes we sabotage something because we don’t really want to do it.
Instead of admitting this to ourselves
and saying “no”
we agree to do it
but we never really show up.
Either we’re late,
cancel last minute,
or never become fully invested.
When we do this we’re usually acting unconsciously.

So we keep cancelling on a date.
Because we don’t want to have to tell them how we really feel.
And eventually they get annoyed and give up on us.
We will sometimes even feel outraged and hurt at this
forgetting that we were trying to create
a get out from the beginning.

This isn’t right or wrong.
It’s more a sign that a part of us resists something or someone.
And until we welcome that part
And give it a voice
It will continue to force entry
And muck up our day
our plans
our relationships
our life.

So instead
we need to welcome our resistance through the front door
with a warming cup of tea
and listen
so we can start to become conscious of it.
Which basically means to acknowledge its existence.

This begins with giving ourselves permission to not like certain things or people.
It means being straightforward
and in this case
kindly telling the truth to our date.

Self sabotage can also be a sign that our life is unbalanced.
And we need to have more fun and relaxation
and until we do this, we’re just not going to be able to work relentlessly.
And we’ll magically find endless ways
to mess up our plans each day.

It might also be a sign that we’re really hungry for something to work
and that beginning means taking one step closer to
rejection and failure.
So we decide to
at the very least
have control over what happens.
Even if that means screwing ourselves over.
So we never start the job application, the book, or the relationship.

It could also be our perfectionism that sabotages us.
We start the job application
or the relationship
Perhaps we make a few mistakes
and instead of starting the application again
or saying sorry
we immediately try and throw it all out.
We never give ourselves a chance.

Life is full of mistakes.
And until we acknowledge this
We will not have the energy or resilience to keep playing at it.

This is why perfectionism is the enemy of progress.

So if I’m going to leave you with anything
it’s that we all trip up, make a mess, and get it wrong at times
and when we’re truthful about that
we can address it in the light of the day
without throwing everything away
and giving ourselves a chance to succeed.

It’s also about acknowledging that we all have the capacity for self sabotage.
We’re all icebergs with unfathomable depths.
And the more we can welcome this
the quicker we can become more conscious around our patterns
and if we choose to
do something differently.

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